Awake
by heartlandiansoisle
Summary: Lou tries to get a hold of Mitch. Set after 10x18, spoilers up to 11x05.


The first thing Lou does after her meltdown upon seeing the empty space where Mitch's trailer used to be is reach out for her phone. Her fingers are restless, but they still find Mitch's phone number from her recent contacts. She calls.

No answer.

Again. But still no answer. So she texts him.

 _"Where are you?!"_

For hours she keeps checking if he's seen the message, but he hasn't read it and he still doesn't answer his phone.

Lou stays at the Dude Ranch that night, just in case Mitch comes back. Everyone is over the moon about Ty and Amy's baby, and she is too, but Lou can't concentrate until she knows everything is okay with Mitch.

 _Why would he leave without saying anything to her? Where would he even go? Why didn't he come to the wedding? Or maybe he did, but she just didn't see him because she left early to meet Amy's baby._

 _Is that why he was mad?_

 _But surely he would have called and asked where she was instead of just taking off without a word?_

Later that night, Lou checks her messages and sees Mitch has read what she had written but still hasn't replied. She tries to call him, even though it's late, but his phone is turned off.

 _Maybe his battery died?_

Maybe that's the reason why he hasn't gotten back to her.

But the next morning, after a restless night, when Lou tries to call him again, his phone is on, but he doesn't answer. He has battery but he chooses not to engage.

 _Seen 3:04 am._ The text mocks her. If it has been seen, why won't he answer?

* * *

The next few days, Lou tries to message Mitch couple more times, but he still won't reply. Nor does he answer her calls. Lou's worry turns into frustration and frustration turns into bitterness.

 _She should have known this. It was too good to be true - he was too good to be true! She should have known he was not ready to commit, it was what he said on their first date; that they were looking for different things._

When Jack mentions something about getting a call from Mitch and how he's found a new job, Lou's bitterness turns into anger. Mitch calls Jack, but not her? Why? What kind of coward is he?

* * *

For weeks Lou pushes Mitch out of her mind. She refuses to think about him, he doesn't deserve to occupy her head. Lou drowns herself into work and gets excited about the work opportunities this new Maggie's investor will provide her. She gets to go to New York, away from here where Mitch slides into her mind whenever she does anything around the ranch.

But when it's Christmas, Lou misses him. After a few glasses of wine, she makes a call. When it goes to his voice mail, she considers leaving a message, but when the beep goes off, she disconnects and leaves him hanging - just like he left her.

* * *

New Year's. She's in New York and she's thinking of adding another "New" to the equation; New Lou. Watching the ball drop at Times Square gives her new energy as the people count down the numbers and hope for a better new year. But when people shout "HAPPY NEW YEAR", grab the person next to them and kiss, Lou feels alone.

Not only that, but she realizes Mitch is also in New York - all because of that trip they took together just weeks before he decided to dump her. When she gets back to her hotel room, she sends a text message to Georgie and asks her to hug Katie tightly for her, and then she goes to bed and hugs her pillow.

Maybe she should have traveled back home after all. The hassle would have been worth it compared to this miserable feeling she's feeling.

As the loneliness creeps up on her, she logs into her Facebook account so she can make a "Happy New Year" post. She's not even thinking about Mitch, but the feed reveals his latest activities on the site. Lou doesn't know why she hasn't just unfriended him, it's been three months now.

Without thinking the whole the New Lou thing, she allows the Old Lou this one sappy moment and posts "You too" under his generic "Happy New Year everyone!" post. There will be no exclamation mark, not even a dot - it's an opening and he can grab it if he wants to. Part of Lou wishes he does, because this is starting to be pathetic.

It's not even 2 am before Lou falls asleep and dreams about sleeping next to Mitch in their hotel room, just like they did when he was still in her life.

* * *

It's almost time to go back to Hudson, this time with Katie in tow, and Lou finds herself thinking about Mitch.

Maybe it's because Hudson presents Mitch.

Or maybe it's because some cute guy apparently flirted with her the other day - according to Nicole - but she didn't even notice. How did that happen? Seven months and she's still thinking about Mitch. This is a new low for her - and that's saying a lot.

 _Maybe… Maybe… she's not over Mitch after all._

 _Nonsense!_

 _Why would she not be over Mitch? It's been ages, and he has not made any contact. What is there to miss?_

 _Nothing!_

* * *

But then few days later, as she drives home and sees Mitch riding Maverick on a nearby field, something shifts. He looks like a prince out of Katie's favorite movie when the sun hits his profile. Lou's not sure what she's thinking when she pulls her SUV on the side of the road and turns off the engine. Something about him pulls her closer, she can't explain it, especially because just today she was still angry at him.

As she walks to the field and feels the strand of grass on her fingertips, she considers if maybe this is a dream. One of those dreams she's been having every now and then whenever the rare feeling of missing Mitch hits her.

 _It feels like a dream..._

They meet and have a shallow conversation. There's static in the air. Maybe this is their thing, the secret to their passion; less words, more action.

"Mitch? Wait", she pleads before he has a chance to turn around and ride to the sunset - literally. She can't watch him leave again. He stops and listens. "I lied before, outside of Maggie's. I haven't moved on. I'm not over you and I was kind of hoping maybe you aren't over me, either."

He looks at her, considering her words. Lou half-expects him to scoff and tell her to have a good rest of her life and she almost feels embarrassed for pouring her heart out. It's not like any form of words has worked before, why would this work now?

But then he dismounts and walks toward her without saying a word. His hand reaches out and brushes her cheek before he brings his lips on hers and they kiss.

Maybe it's a dream.

 _It feels like a dream._

Yet... Lou has not felt as awake for months as she does now.


End file.
